It’s not that I don’t care… it’s that I can’t! And it’s not that I can’t care… it’s that I won’t!… I won’t!!! I will not do it!!! My only hope lies in concepts u could not in 50 different life times ever understand because of ur total dependence on this quickly passing experience call life! What drives Me?!…What pushes me out to call the Devil himself to me, only to force myself through my own quaking fear to look into those eyes of his which are those of true unveiled insanity and say,” I’m here… I know who u are and what u want from me too!… u want me to join u after the judgement in the blazing fire by the delusion of accepting myself as my own god as u urself did long before the coming of my parents here!… and as bothered as I am by all around me here, I won’t leave my road! Hate burns… but so will God’s fire upon me if I listen to u and let my fire burn those u would have me see as less than me! I’m not their superior nor are they mine! Yes, I may be a mad man! A lone Muslim warrior lost without an established home anywhere. And I doubt I may ever find peace in this world… but In the pain that comes with that knowledge I also smile and laugh at myself in empty rooms because I know that my war on the hell of my own mental instability will not be forgotten when I go back to my Maker. He promised… if I don’t call upon any other but him and I don’t hurt anyone or myself… if I let these people pass unharmed… than I’ll get my reward after my death for my fight!… As far as this world though, and all it’s dreamland bullshit Yaa shaytaan, u evil piece of eventual firewood…u can tell ur lies to somebody else! They can have it all and each other too! I may want em for personal reasons… human reasons at times, but u should know by now, I don’t need em if it’s a choice between them and my goal. I belong to Allah alone, as does my life and my passing! To the dust with the rest!”…

Published by Pack Redfeather

I am a walking contradiction of traditions some say. An African American and Native American Muslim poet with a personal life history as violently turbulent as a Storm. A visionary from the bottom of life’s social barrel striving to share the hope found in the light of faith through sometimes dark but real poetry. I’m a former member of the Bloods street gang, former serial bank robber, and both federal/state prison convict. I live on my mother’s tribal reservation of the Leech Lake band of Ojibwe in Minnesota.

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