The day I left left my ex she grabbed my phone out of my hand and shattered it into 50,000 pieces… all the photos of my son’s life up to that day were stored within it. I left the house without a blow being thrown and a police escort. Days later I’m hit with an OFP and accused of being basically an Muslim extremist. The very patriotic Judge hearing the word Islam and also viewing my very troubled past signed off on this order and I lost my son. To the ppl here on this Reservation who know me not just from some Fb posts but who have actually seen me face to face… how did I speak to u?… how was the the tone of my voice or how were my movements? Many in this town I’m sure have had their paths crossed in good ways by this black and Indian follower of Islam. Did I smile? Did I give or at least offer friendship? Food? Clothes? Rides? Money? Did I ask for return favors? Did I intimidate with rude and ignorant speech or postures? It hurts so much for me to view these photos of my son and I my beautiful sister saved on her phone. My son… if u’ve payed attention at all as to what kind of life I’ve lived… for me to be sober, sane, and useful to my fellow human beings everyday and not out there using, stealing, lying, and hurting people is a divine miracle. My son!… that He be given the chance at what so many native boys on this Rez lack, to have a present, loving, and stable father is what keeps the lion in my soul growling at the inner demons in me that want to wreck havoc. I’m hurt… but I will not fight fire with fire… it’s not the way of my faith because all fire does is burn “everything” down… “everything!”… so, I’m not cursing or blaming… but I’m not giving up either. Ever! The fight to be right is all I got left… I love u jr! Pack Redfeather

Published by Pack Redfeather

I am a walking contradiction of traditions some say. An African American and Native American Muslim poet with a personal life history as violently turbulent as a Storm. A visionary from the bottom of life’s social barrel striving to share the hope found in the light of faith through sometimes dark but real poetry. I’m a former member of the Bloods street gang, former serial bank robber, and both federal/state prison convict. I live on my mother’s tribal reservation of the Leech Lake band of Ojibwe in Minnesota.

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