In emotional pain I asked Allah, “ My God, why can’t I have the things that I want?”… in the silence of my room, on my knees with my head down, I felt him respond in my heart. “ Because if I were to give u these things for nothing they would mean nothing!… ur life and the meaning of ur life… would please me in nothing. Ur struggle I adore because u rage against defeat for me alone. U don’t give up because u both love and fear… me!… so keep proceeding forward back to me my servant… I’m here!” I looked up and smiled… and I whispered, “yeah, glory be to the one who gives meaning and true value to those who try. To hell with those “things” I’d rather have u anyway!”