If I could I would give it all away, all that makes me human. All the inner conflict, contradiction, and confusion. Every cry that calls from the darkest and deepest of wells that exist in this mysterious soul that I have. Beautiful silence. Blissful nothingness. But this is a foolish wish, for There would be no me… So this desire I toss behind my back knowing it’s pure falsehood. I’m here. I’m alive. Made to be like the weather of this world. Sometimes sunny and calm, other days mentally raging like a hurricane. I was put here to be tried. I was shown the two highways and like everyone else here I’m constantly being made to choose my way. We’re not in God’s garden yet… His eyes are still watching us… His hands, still paving the way because of the use of our own wills towards redemption or destruction. I hate this war… It hurts… But a brother told me one of our traditions about a man who made it to paradise being asked a question. He was asked, in the life u lived in the world did u ever suffer, Was there ever any hardship? The man being so filled with the joy of salvation said in surprise, “No! By God, I never suffered, never knew hardship!”… And so here lies the true dream that lives within me… This God willing won’t even be a memory. All tears dried… All scars healed… And all u will know is light… dang. Goodnight.