A question… What does she want?…I sat outside on break and a woman got out of a car. Although it goes against the calling of my lower self, which loves to gaze at and dream about women whom the Creator made physically attractive to men, I’ve been told to avert my gaze at such sights to protect myself from that ole’ male madness that gets so many of us in trouble. I did… Then I said, “wait!…turn back!.. Watch!…and learn if u can!.. So I looked back. She saw me looking, then she turned away. Then She started walking all funny lol.. Putting on a runway show for me in some small-town with three stores as the corona virus rages around killing and scaring everybody., she was supposed to be just simply headed towards the store’s door. I asked myself… Why?…what is she doing all this for? What is she telling me by the movement of this sensual yet ridiculous strut and gait of hers? She had that look as if she broke hearts for a living. Is this all a man’s supposed to want from a woman I asked? Some sort of supposed superiority over me because she assumes that since I’m a guy I’d sell my birth right away just for her aknowledgement of me?… It’s not her fault I said. She knows of no other way, and until recently, neither did I. It’s then that I felt it… Sadness for both of us… Shame. Why is it that for a lot of us this is the limit of our desires for eachother? Some Petty beauty pageant? Is This the total of all u’ve been given pretty lady, a beautiful face and a desired body? But question to self, is that the total of urs Pack, Carnal gratification with someone u don’t even know?U don’t know anything about that woman. What the hell is this silly cat and mouse dance we’ve been so addicted to pursuing since the beginning of the world. I want more than this!.. But, like her, I know of little else besides what I feel at the moment. So I sat there, watched for a second more, then I turned my head away and let her be…she disappeared into the store…

Published by Pack Redfeather

I am a walking contradiction of traditions some say. An African American and Native American Muslim poet with a personal life history as violently turbulent as a Storm. A visionary from the bottom of life’s social barrel striving to share the hope found in the light of faith through sometimes dark but real poetry. I’m a former member of the Bloods street gang, former serial bank robber, and both federal/state prison convict. I live on my mother’s tribal reservation of the Leech Lake band of Ojibwe in Minnesota.

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