When it finally comes, whether quick or slowly…oh my maker, remember the core of who I was. That somewhere in the storm I saw the point of what my journey was all about. My aknowlegement that all I am is urs and urs alone. The good in me… The bad. No one elses opinion or judgement holds even an atom’s weight of influence over whatever value u’ve put over my soul with u. And There’s no escaping the ultimate truth… That I’m completely Dependant on u. Even in my sometime denial and out right rebellion of u and all I believe u’ve told me to do here. Every breath I take is a breath given and not earned. Everything I’ve ever had or found of good had nothing to do with my own skills, talents, blind luck, or worldly cleverness. U… U… U… Even knowing this, I’m no pure one… No holy man, or one free from the sick love I have for the vices of the world. U are my destiny… The end of the road to this Petty side-show we fight over all the time to have the best seats in. Unlike many the words “I’m safe from u” doesn’t enter my heart or ever off my tongue. U told me to battle what u urself put in me to be tried by. Whether sincere or an out right liar u alone know the truth of… U see me clearly with no curtain of falsehood between us. So step by step here I come Lord… And Subhaanallah how my heart quakes with both longing and fear… Not only do u know what I’ve done but why… Something even I don’t know…so step by step here I come…

Published by Pack Redfeather

I am a walking contradiction of traditions some say. An African American and Native American Muslim poet with a personal life history as violently turbulent as a Storm. A visionary from the bottom of life’s social barrel striving to share the hope found in the light of faith through sometimes dark but real poetry. I’m a former member of the Bloods street gang, former serial bank robber, and both federal/state prison convict. I live on my mother’s tribal reservation of the Leech Lake band of Ojibwe in Minnesota.

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