My anger serves a purpose… to push me further than I’ve ever been… The God I serve says if ur to get to where I’d take u must do as I say… I’ll accept nothing else but ur best… even if u slip a thousand times, remember my promises and who I am and get urself back up when u fall!…and Pain? The hell with pain! Pain is the weakness leaving u every time u walk away from what the pettiness in u is screaming and begging for. Chain it up! Starve it! People have no idea how much the addict in me hates this March of mine… saying no all the time… not just to drugs… but to feeding myself all the other poisons of life as well… I read… I work… I work my body in the blazing heat pumping weights, running, and shadow boxing till my lungs and muscles burns like the fires of hades… then I wash up and pray…. cigarettes, booze, weed, dope, sex, gambling, hustling bags for extra money… everything I knew under the heels of my timberland boots! Even still…I’m better than none! I do all this for a reason that makes people totally perplexed and sometimes fearful. A woman yesterday called me a good man… I wish to God I could call myself that… but because I can’t… as soon as she said it, I abandoned what I was on with her… that’s the real me… I left again because it’s not true at all… I’d rather be alone then live a lie again… at least in that I’d be telling the truth… some people need to be alone… and since doing the obvious I can’t even do… what’s the point???