For every petty eye that measured me up and saw nothing… for every time I reached out only to have my hand pushed away…for every word I spoke from the the heart, and before even finishing my statement, ur back was turned so u could walk away…yeah it hurt, but the light of realization is now very bright in my mind…I really didn’t need u, because u decided that u didn’t need me… I came correct as much as I could, while u left me cold and just full of urself while playing a role… I’m glad u all said no… glad ur superficial mode of friendship wasn’t a burden I had to carry, then eventually have to bury… takes a lot of work to be an actor…constantly pretending to be such that would attract ur stuck up favor… to hell with living a lie like that… a life of desperation. Like a thirsty Bedouin in the desert, running around with his mouth open, chasing falling rain drops from a teasing grey sky. Or like a person selling their sexuality off for a hit on another person’s pipe! Not enjoying the act… just the effect of the crack!… Yeah, alone I’ve stood tall…but i don’t believe that my guardian lord who is the true giver of good things is done bestowing blessings yet upon his caller, for I’ve prayed many a time with an attentive heart… not for a beautiful runaway Harlot in love with constant laughter, the world, and freedom… but a woman warrior, who’s heart beats to fulfill her role as given to her by The One who made her. To be a mother, a daughter, a sister, a true wife, and a sincere friend of those worthy of her friendship…

Published by Pack Redfeather

I am a walking contradiction of traditions some say. An African American and Native American Muslim poet with a personal life history as violently turbulent as a Storm. A visionary from the bottom of life’s social barrel striving to share the hope found in the light of faith through sometimes dark but real poetry. I’m a former member of the Bloods street gang, former serial bank robber, and both federal/state prison convict. I live on my mother’s tribal reservation of the Leech Lake band of Ojibwe in Minnesota.

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